Getting Older

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It happened all at once.

Last week I started feeling my age. I'm pushing forty but I've never felt like it until now.

I was walking down the stairs and I felt something on the back of my upper thigh.  It felt really wiggly and gross so I reached around to see what it was and to my surprise...
          was my ASS!!!

I'm not over-exaggerating here, people.  My ASS is sagging down onto the back of my LEGS.

Some of you may remember the Breast Pencil Test.  This is where you place a pencil under your boob and if it falls then you pass the test (you don't have saggy tata's - yippee!)

I would fail the pencil test if I put it under my ass-cheek.

My husband tells me, "Just do some squats and run on the elliptical.  That should help."

"Oh, why thanks honey, that makes me feel better", I said, while silently flipping him the bird behind his back.

I'm not a 'working out' kind of girl.  The last time I tried to run with my husband, I barely made it up to the stop sign at the end of our street. I get itchy and sweaty and I start to get all panicky because I scratch my sweaty thighs and that makes them itch worse.

I'd rather starve myself in order to lose weight and I think this is what made my ass fall.

Guess I'm gonna have to go get lipo...

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